Apparently, there is this secret world that exists before 2pm and I am not a part of it. From what I hear there are things called "breakfast" and "jobs" and "alarm clocks", but it has been nearly two months since I have been awake when there was a little "am" where the "pm" should be. I'm not saying I'm lazy (but I probably should because that is the honest truth) just that I have had no need to be awake before my body actually wants to join the rest of the world. I suppose this is what funemployment is all about and I should savor it because sometime in the near future I might have to get a job like normal people.
It just happened to hit me today, that people get things done BEFORE 2pm. Like, they had a more productive day than I will before my day has even started! This is quite upsetting.
Take my mother for example: usually before noon she has done at least FIVE things. and not even one of those things is drinking vodka out of the bottle or eating frozen pizza. If changing the channel and taking a shower are considered doing things, I might actually complete two things before 5pm and that is on a particularly active day for me.
I honestly do not even know what "morning" looks like anymore. For all I know, people could be driving by, throwing money out of their cars and it could be raining candy and diet dr. pepper, but I will never find out because it is a secret that people who are awake before time switches to "pm" have to keep from us unemployed people who sleep all day. I suppose it is only fair because I get to watch Comedy Central and play on Facebook all day and they actually have to shower and drive places and be respectable members of society. Which means, I guess, that they deserve candy and diet dr pepper, and money rain and I do not.
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