Why I Have "that's what she said." Tattooed On My Finger. (A Tale of Roadtrips and Alcohol)

I have quite a few tattoos, but the one I am most proud of is my most recent. It is the phrase "that's what she said." on my right middle finger. I am sure by now you are thinking that I am joking because no one could be that absurd as to get that silly phrase PERMANENTLY tattooed on their body. let alone on their hand where other people have to see it everyday. But oh, I did. and it is beautiful.
Now I am not the kind of person who just goes out and does stuff at random (that is a lie). I try to keep my impulsiveness to only small things like deciding to go swimming or going to buy cake mix at midnight. I would never get a tattoo without really thinking about it. Except this one. This one is my favorite because if it wasn't, I'm sure later on in life I might regret it.
You see, I had been thinking about getting it to be funny for about two months. possibly more. I have absolutely no concept of time. I had no idea today was Thursday until just now. I think it is August and I think my rent is due soon, but that is all I am aware of. If it wasn't for paying rent, I wouldn't even know it was another month.
One day in my boredom of being unemployed I convinced my friend Elton to go on a road trip to austin. Elton is a funny, funny character on bis own and I am sure that at sometime there will be a post detailing our friendship, but right now just know that I have known him all my life, he is certifiably insane, Jewish, impulsive, and I insult his sexuality constantly.
Elton and I love booze. specifically the kind with alcohol in it. So during our road trip from san antonio to austin we knew we couldn't be sober.He invited some of his friend along too! Now there are two "responsible" 22 yr olds, two 19 year olds, an open bottle of root beer vodka and some really awful long island iced tea that tastes like molasses in my car at the halfway point. We filled up a McDonald's cup with root beer and vodka and ate chicken nuggets as we drove. Which pretty much means that we were the opposite of sober when we finally parked in downtown Austin. I do not condone drunk driving, but I do condone bad decisions where no one gets hurt.
So now we are walking around austin being ridiculous and  taking pictures of ever thing. Sometime that night we found a fountain that everyone claimed they could jump over. No. No one could jump over it. And i ended up COMPLETELY soaked. There is video out there somewhere of my REENACTING falling and falling again. yeah, I'm a freakin' genius. (I misspelled genius at first, yeah, I'm that smart)

Throwing Elton into a fountain!

So now it's about 9 o'clock at night, we are sobering up and i am soaked from head to toe. We are walking around downtown austin being obnoxious looking for a tattoo shop or something and a hobo came up to us and said something like, "Hey, the liquor store closes in 7 minutes, do you guys have any spare change?" and considering that we just drank vodka and root beer, we gave him all our change, which was probably enough for a cheap bottle of gin.
We end up making a pit stop and getting slushies and mine had a candy straw! And we stopped to drink them at the University of Texas and listened to a really crap band play for about an hour. At some point we were swarmed by Asian school children and then we finally found a tattoo shop.
I was quite giggly and excited as I told the artist what I wanted. He might have thought I was insane. And I had to pay in $2 bills because I have a slight $2 bill obsession, so maybe he was right in assuming I was crazy. And so began the most hilarious/painful thing I've ever done:

It started off SUPER EFFING PAINFUL!

This is the most flattering picture ever.

The coolest tattoo ever.